Mind blowing interview ( MUST READ )

Mind blowing interview ( MUST READ ) Interviewer : Tell me about yourself. Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Telecom Engg from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology. Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before! Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it .. What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said – “I can not invest so much of money”. So I had to join this college. Interviewer: ok, It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering. Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it . Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned. Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!! Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life? Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra). Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study? Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so much of pain!! Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked? Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. Interviewer : And which languages have you used? Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages. Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB? Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language? Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly. Interviewer : What is your general project experience? Candidate : My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline! Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience? Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’, ‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes! Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company? Candidate : Not much. 1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.. 2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent. 3. I believe in flexi-timings. 4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans. 5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork. 6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US and Australia. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection? Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS. The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of Infosys.